I'm going to be entering my third year of COLLEGE.
And I feel like an idiot.
All through high school, I wanted to be a sports journalist. Then at orientation for college, I changed my mind and switched my major to Criminal Justice and then to Law and then back to Criminal Justice and then last year to Forensics.
That is what I want to do with my life. But I feel so late to make a dramatic change!
I was making a copy of my class schedule for this year and I couldn't help but feel like a failure! Intro to Bio? Intro to Chem? FRESHMEN CLASSES! But I'm supposed to be a JUNIOR.
I feel like I waited to long to change my major! I know I want to do this but I'm just so freaked out I'll never finish school! Its not until this upcoming semester that I'll be taking major related courses. I mean I'm not even in CALCULUS, I'M A 3RD YEAR AND PRECALC.
I feel like for being a forensics major, I should have already memorized the periodic table of elements and tackle the most difficult math problems! And should have so much more knowledge!
I mean granted, my minor is Criminal Justice and I'm done with that and I have had such great CRJ classes, but I just feel like I shouldn't feel this lost so late!
Maybe I should have done community college for 2 years and then transferred instead of doing all this discovering at a private and pricey university. But 2 years ago, I was not the same person. I was Chelsea the girl who can't stand blood and wants to write about the Yankees. Now I'm Chelsea the girl who has gotten an iron stomach and wants to work in a lab dealing with things that would have made me pass out.
But 2 years ago, I knew I got into a great school that was great for my major. And thank goodness, my school is still awesome since I changed my major.
I don't know, I just feel so late in the game. And down. I mean I'm only 20. But I always wanted to finish in 4 years. AND THEN GRAD SCHOOL. Ugh!
Help?
♥ Chelsea
Hey Chelsea, I feel sorry for you! It's hard to figure it all out so we don't make any mistake. But you are only human and we humans tend to make mistake. Don't let it get you down that you've struggled up until now. If Forensics is for sure the one job you want to do then go ahead. Leave the past where it belongs, in the past and concentrate on the path you are currently on. Don’t let it bother you if others tell you that you are late to the party, so to speak – and above all don’t regret anything you’ve done so far. It has made you the person you are today and it has brought you to the point in life where you are standing now. And that can’t be wrong!
ReplyDeleteI myself have struggled with my study as well. After graduation I was in university for a year, with an English major and a Musicology minor, before I realized my heart was not in it. So I changed it, got out of university, did a 2year training as a certified voice teacher. At that time I thought I was ready for the job. I was not. So I got back into college as a Voice major and Pedagogy minor. This is my third year at college now and I feel, not just think but FEEL that this is where I belong. The bottom line? I will be 27, maybe 28 when I’m finished. Former classmates of mine are already on the job, some are even married and have kids on the way. There are time when I feel like I can’t do anything right, like I will never finish, like I’m the only one who didn’t make it in four or five years. I know that this is not true. I know a couple of people who are my age and still in college, stage school, whatever. I got to know that it’s not as uncommon as I might think. It’s just different from the norm, and we humans usually fear anything besides the norm, the common, the accepted. It makes us uncomfortable.
Keep your chin up Chelsea! I won’t tell you that it will be easy from here on. But at least you know that this is the right thing now, the real deal. I wish you all the best!!
Chester