Motivation

I thought I'd do an EXTREMELY personal post. What I am about to say, well many people don't know about me. But I'm hoping spilling myself out onto this post will motivate me for my first resolution: lose weight.

I'm 19 and over weight. By no means morbidly obese or obese. I have just always had a little extra to love. Its something I have struggled with.

But I need motivation. And here it is. Though I'll never see my 6th grade class again, my goal is to be able to wish to see them again and make them eat their words.

When I was 11 and 12, I was in the 6th grade at a new school. My parents were divorced, we had to move in with my grandma because we couldn't afford to live in our childhood house, I switched schools and left my friends. And much more.

But what do I remember most? My weight.

Mind you in 6th grade I was ACTIVE. I still had some little baby fat. 20 lbs over weight, if anything. I played soccer, basketball, track, swam. But to cope with family drama I also binged.

So there I was. New girl at school. As if that wasn't bad enough, my life was about to be a living hell.

EVERY DAY that school year I was made fun of. Every single fat joke and comment you can think of, was said to me. Here are some examples:

"WIDEN THE DOOR, CHELSEA IS COMING"
"I THOUGHT WE HAD A NEW STUDENT NOT A COW"
"DON'T BREAK THE CHAIR, YOU ELEPHANT"
"WAS THAT AN EARTHQUAKE? NO IT WAS CHELSEA"

I EVEN HAD A SIGN PUT ON MY BACK that said "I'M FAT". And no one told me about it until the day was almost over. This wasn't friendly teasing, it was flat out harassment. I ignored it and talked to the principal but I was told "BOYS WOULD BE BOYS". I was already emotionally unstable but this?!

I kid you not when EVERY DAY this happened. I was treated like AN ANIMAL not a girl. For just having some baby fat.

Do you know what thats like?! I doubt my mom or family knows the extent of it. Its damn embarrassing!

Every thing I did was somehow related back to my weight.

Believe me, its no accident that for 7th grade I was at a new school in a new state.

Now I'm 19, still struggling with weight, partially to blame to my college lifestyle and thyroid. But thank God, since 6th grade I haven't heard things like that.

Now its "GOD, YOU'D BE SUCH A KNOCKOUT...if you lost weight!"
"Too bad you don't have a pretty body to match your pretty face!"

So, here it goes.

My goal this year is to lose weight and be in the best shape ever. So much so that if I were to go back to the 6th grade I could kick their asses and make them eat shit and make them feel like asses. I'd like to mentally "WOW" those sons of bitches.

♥ Chelsea